Post by lily on Feb 8, 2013 17:04:28 GMT -8
she didn't know what she was going to do. she needed to get away from it all. everything. it all had to go. she couldn't handle the news, the pressure or anything of it. the chat room was too much for her to handle. finding out her past love was murdered by his own father on a chat room was not the best way to go. she couldn't get a grip on it. it was too much for her to even believe it was real, and yet it was. she could no longer hear his voice again, hug him, touch him. all those memories floated back into her head. the time they first bothered to hang out with one another was at work. her folding clothes and him at the cash register. a normal day at work for the both of them. and yet in only a matter of minutes it all changed. everything changed. he led her on a goose chase through the mall, to the computer store to buy a macbook. and then through the rest of the mall. stopping only briefly to stare at the picture she had painted of the open space, the farm land she lived on. it was all so pretty, and yet it meant everything to her now. it was all just flooding back, and she couldn't unsee it.
tears were falling down her face as she walked towards the sand. the ocean waves were soothing, but it didn't seem like it was enough for her to take all of the memories away. they spent so much time together that it was hard for her to even forget him, and yet now she wouldn't even beheld by him anymore. lily sat down, crossing her legs just enough to let her elbows rest on her knees. she wiped the tears away from her face and just stared at nothing, facing the sea. the death of the one person that meant everything to her was gone. she couldn't, she wouldn't be able to find anyone else. it would be too hard for her. she would just live with one of her siblings for the rest of her life, miserable. with the daunting memories of them both, being happy and sad together. the death of their little girl was enough for her to just break out in a sob. stillborn. her first child. it didn't feel right for her. lucifer, still loved her though. he cared for her, even if they lost the one being before it was even born. lily cherished swan more than anything now. the white cat never left her sight when she was home. she always had to have him near her. he filled the emptiness that hung in her heart. she could not see him being gone and yet the white cat reminded so much of lucifer and christian. they were happy then.
lily silently sobbed at the ocean as the sun made it's decend down for the night. it wouldn't be for another hour or so before it was truly gone and dark. but maybe it would just give lily enough time to get her composure together and be able to get on with her life, even if that meant living by herself with no one to fill her empty void.
